A Rough Start Outtakes
by ItzMegan73
Summary: Chapter outtakes from the story A Rough Start
1. Chapter 1

**A Rough Start Outtake**

**Tricks –and– Treats**

"Anthony, I'm not buying that for you," Edward huffed as he took in the metallic lame' fabric and the lavender hued tights Anthony was eyeballing.

"But it has a sword," Anthony pulled at the plastic weapon that was zip-tied to the costume.

Okay, that was a pretty good reason to want the damn pansy ass garb in the first place, but Edward still shook his head.

"What about this one?" Edward pulled out an Optimus Prime frock.

Anthony crinkled his nose. "I like Bumblebee."

"Well there aren't any Bumblebee costumes left," Edward stole a glance at his watch as he responded. It had been his intention to let Anthony pick out a costume on the day before Halloween, as stores usually slashed the prices then and costumes became much more affordable. However, time had gotten away from Edward, so much so that here it was, Saturday, the morning of Halloween, and he and Anthony were just making it to the store in search of a costume. Thankfully, Anthony was a little on the small side for his age, because smalls and extra large sizes were all that was left. And Edward was fortunate that he had assumed correctly and the costumes were all half price, because he felt so guilty for making Anthony wait until the last minute that he was ready to let him have anything he wanted…except for the sword bearing fairy costume.

"I want to be a cowboy. I was a cowboy last time," Anthony said.

Edward paused and watched as his son rifled through the well picked through rack. He didn't have the heart to tell Anthony that there was no cowboy costume to be found.

And then Edward's mind roamed to all of the items in a storage container in another state that were waiting to be discovered – items that Anthony was used to having, but now had to go without until Edward got his act, and his finances together, and made his way down to Oregon.

Somewhere, there were costumes and toys and, (knowing Jessica), designer clothing and shoes that all belonged to the little boy before him that was eagerly tossing aside costume after costume in search of the perfect one.

"Oooh! Superman!" Anthony pulled a red and blue costume from the bottom of a pile on the floor.

"Do you like that one?" Edward asked as he scoped out the price tag. Fifty percent of twenty bucks was definitely within his range.

"Yeah! I like Superman. It's just like Taylor's. He was Superman yesterday at the parade." Anthony said of his classmate.

"What parade?" Edward asked as he took the costume from Anthony and slung it over his arm as they walked to the register to pay.

"We had a costume parade at school. Miss Swan let me walk in front and hold the kindergarten flag because I didn't have a costume," Anthony said.

"You were supposed to wear a costume to school yesterday? Why didn't you tell me?" But even as the question left his lips, Edward knew that he couldn't place the responsibility on a five-year-old little boy to tell him things he should figure out for himself. After all, Edward had been five years old once, and he remembered that his elementary school had always had a costume parade on or near Halloween. He should have been paying attention.

"I'm sorry you didn't have a costume, Anthony. I…completely forgot," Edward said remorsefully. He handed Anthony the Superman outfit and allowed him to put it on the conveyor belt.

"Would you like a Halloween bag to put all your candy in, young man?" the older woman at the register displayed a jack-o-lantern type grin as she addressed Anthony. While Anthony nodded a solid yes, Edward tried to figure out what the woman's costume represented. Finally he settled on a cross between Pippi Longstocking and a St. Pauli Girl – though he decided against asking her about it.

But her question to Anthony jogged Edward's memory and he realized he was missing the holiday's main staple: candy.

He quickly grabbed a few packages from the end cap behind him and placed them down next to the costume, much to the chagrin of the patron behind him, who had to scoot her items back a few inches to accommodate Edward's addition.

Anthony was a ball of enthusiasm as he exited the store with his costume in hand. He was in such a rush to get home and put it on that Edward had to slightly jog to keep up with him in the parking lot.

"Anthony, slow down!" Edward called over to him.

But Anthony was no longer running towards the car. He had spotted someone he knew and was running towards them with open arms.

"Miss Swan!"

Edward walked up just as Bella knelt down and enveloped Anthony in a hug.

"Anthony, what are you doing here?" she asked, her smile mirroring his.

"I got a costume," Anthony held up the evidence.

"Oh, good!" Bella seemed relieved. "See, I told you you'd get a costume today." Her eyes fluttered up to Edward and then back to Anthony, the smile never leaving her face.

"Yeah, uh…I got delayed…I didn't know he was supposed to wear a costume to school yesterday," Edward fidgeted nervously. "Did you…uh…send a note or…"

"The weekly kindergarten letter. It's been in there all month," Bella said, her tone friendly.

_Oh not those damn letters again._

Bella must have noticed the look of anguish on Edward's face, because she added, "But it's a busy time of year. People forget," she shrugged.

"I'm gonna be Superman!" Anthony said, garnering for Bella's attention once again.

"Did you know Superman is my favorite superhero of all time?" Bella asked.

Anthony nodded, despite Bella never having stated that fact.

"Are you going over to Tillicum Park for the Heritage Days Festival?" Bella asked. Of course the question was more for Edward than Anthony, but she just wanted to make sure Edward knew of it. "They've planned lots of fun things for the kids this year. And they give out the best candy."

"I wanna go there," Anthony told Bella, then they both looked over at Edward.

"Uh, yeah, we'll head over there. This is your day, champ," Edward said. "When does it start?" Edward had been in Forks his entire life and had yet to go to a Heritage Days Festival, despite the limited number of things to do in the town.

"It starts in just a couple hours. I'd go early with the little guy. When the high-schoolers show up, they kind of take over everything and get in the little kids' way," Bella explained.

"Are you gonna be there, Miss Swan?" Anthony squinted up at her.

"I will," Bella nodded. "Maybe I'll see you there."

Edward was about to ask Bella what her costume was, because he was going to make a point of seeking her out. But someone else walked up at that moment who knew her, and while she made small talk with them, Edward and Anthony quietly slipped away.

As soon as Edward got home, he sent Jasper a text message asking about the Heritage Days Festival. It was his intention to get Jasper to tag along with him, because the last thing Edward wanted to do was show up at some nature-tree-hugging ceremony on his own.

Edward felt relief at Jasper's returning text:

_Go every year. Meet me by Shay train at noon._

"Shay train?" Edward mumbled out loud. _What the hell is a Shay train?_

It seemed as if every Forks resident was on hand to answer that question. The moment Edward and Anthony showed up to the park, they saw many local school exhibits, eighty percent of which talked about the Shay engine, apparently the most widely used steam locomotive in the world – or so says Allison Leonard, Forks Elementary, 5th Grade.

Jasper was right where he said he'd be, and when Alice spotted Anthony in his costume she made a mad dash for him and dumped all of her candy into his bag.

"I thought you were supposed to be handing that out on behalf of the pharmacy," Jasper reminded her.

"I am and I did. Can I help it that Anthony is so cute that I just _had_ to give him everything I had?" Alice fluttered her eyes at Anthony.

Anthony wasn't sure of what Alice was doing with her eyes, but he was very appreciative of how weighted down his bag was with candy.

"C'mon, let's go over to the children's area. They have lots of games and prizes and stuff," Alice invited. She took Anthony's hand and Jasper and Edward followed.

"Hey…isn't that _Bella_?" Alice pretended to be none the wiser as she led Anthony toward his favorite teacher.

Bella was standing near a ticket-taker, handing out stickers in lieu of candy. When Alice made a face at her loot, Bella explained, "This section is hosted by Dr. Hsu's dental office. He doesn't do candy."

"Whatever," Alice rolled her eyes. "So, how long do you have to hang here?"

"I don't, really. I just wanted to represent the school. I've seen several of my students," Bella said. She looked down at Anthony, "Taylor is here, too. He'll be excited to see you in your Superman costume."

"I like your costume," Alice remarked about Bella's Dorothy-in-the-Wizard-of-Oz costume.

"Thanks. It was all I could think of where I wouldn't have to do something elaborate with my hair," Bella said as she tugged at her braids.

"I think it looks great, don't you, Edward?" Alice questioned.

"Uh…yeah," Edward answered. Bella blushed and he could tell that she thought he was being dishonest and that he didn't really think she looked nice. But if she knew what he was really thinking…those schoolgirl braids and those high-heeled red shoes with bobby socks… "Yeah…you look great."

Her eyes lingered on his for a moment before she looked away. When Edward looked over at Alice, he saw that she was watching him with a smug grin on her face. If Jasper weren't standing right next to him, he would have flipped her off.

Anthony's eyes grew as big as saucers when he saw the plethora of games and prizes displayed before him.

And the food!

Carmel apples, candy apples, cotton candy, rock candy, funnel cakes and candy, candy, candy!

"What do you want to do first, Anthony?" Edward asked, his guilt lessening at the look of enjoyment on Anthony's face.

"I want…hmm," Anthony touched his index finger to his lip as if he were in deep thought. "I want a goldfish."

Edward looked over at the dime toss game that boasted the prize of a goldfish in a glass dish much too small for its size.

"Anthony…you have to toss a dime inside one of those bottles to win a goldfish," Edward told him.

Anthony's face fell just a little. "Oh…but I can't do it."

Edward sighed and motioned for the guy manning the booth to come over to him so that they could have a private conversation.

"You and I both know that I could go down to the pet store and get one of these fish for a buck," Edward whispered. "I'll give you ten bucks if you let him toss three dimes and then you give him a fish."

"Fifteen," the man haggled.

"Ten," Edward insisted. "Have a heart, man."

The man, who looked to be all of twenty years old at the most, put on the act of a major internal struggle before giving in and accepting Edward's ten-dollar bill.

"Okay, Anthony, you're up," Edward handed Anthony three times. "Just try to hit those bottles."

Anthony accepted the coins and handed Edward his treasured bag of candy before stepping up to the tape-drawn line.

The first dime he tossed landed on the ground in front of the table of bottles. The second dime hit the table and bounced off. The third dime managed to come in contact with a bottle before it ricocheted off and onto the ground.

"Oooh, so close!" the booth worker said. "In fact, you basically got it in. I think it went in and then it bounced out. For that, my friend, you get a prize!"

"I get a fish!" Anthony turned to Edward in amazement. "I get a fish!"

Jasper and Alice, who had stepped away to get a funnel cake, returned in time to see Anthony receive his bounty, and they hollered and clapped in celebration of him.

Once Anthony had had his first taste of victory, he forgot about the candy that was being passed out and begged to go to booth after booth to see what entertainment they were offering. After about an hour, Edward was exhausted and was hopeful that Anthony was ready to go home.

"But we haven't done the field games yet," Alice protested.

"Field games?" Edward frowned. "He's only five."

"C'mon!" Alice grabbed Anthony by the hand and Edward had no choice but to trail after her.

And as soon as they arrived at the wide-open area where the field games were taking place, Edward knew that Alice was fully aware of what she was doing.

Bella stood at the edge of a roped off game area and she was no longer wearing her costume. Though she still wore her hair in braided pigtails, she'd traded in the Dorothy dress and pumps for jeans and tennis shoes.

_Good Lord…Bella in jeans…_

"Hey, Bella. What are you doing over here?" Alice asked innocently as she approached her.

"What do you mean?" Bella asked. "I told you I was—"

"So what happens over here? Can Anthony play?" Alice interrupted. "He's really been enjoying the games."

Bella leaned over so that she was on Anthony's level. "You know what happens over here?" She continued when he shook his head. "Over here is where your par- I mean your dad has to play the game and if he wins YOU get the prize. Isn't that great?"

Anthony looked over at Edward.

"And look," Bella pointed to a large plastic gold cup that represented a trophy. "That's the prize."

"Wow," Anthony was in awe.

Edward looked over at Bella and rolled his eyes. _Of all the cheap, non-functional items to give away… _ But of course Anthony wanted it as soon as he saw it.

"Can you play? Can you win?" Anthony asked Edward.

_Of course he had to ask that question in front of Bella._

"Step right up! Parents, win your little ghosts, ghouls and goblins the Pacific Coast Cup! Moms, Dads, run the race, win the race and score for your loved one!" A man way over-dressed for his part, shouted.

"He does know he's in Forks, right?" Jasper asked Edward as he heckled the announcer.

"Seriously. There are like… fifty people over here, max," Edward responded.

"Are we gonna play?" Anthony interrupted the conversation.

"How much?" Edward asked the man in red and white striped trousers.

"No cost, but it's just for adults. The kids benefit, but they can't actually play. Liability purposes," he added.

"What's the game?" Edward inquired.

"Three-legged race."

Alice stepped up and looped her arm through Jasper's at that moment. "Oh, I'm sorry, Anthony. Jasper and I can't do this one. Jasper twisted his ankle and I…I have shin splints so…I'm so sorry. And I could tell you really had your heart on that trophy."

"It's not a trophy," Edward whispered.

"But you can do it, right?" Anthony looked up at Edward.

"I can't. You need a partner to do a three-legged race," Edward explained.

"Bella, you can do it, right? You're not manning this race are you?" Alice asked sweetly.

"Well…no.." Bella glanced over at Edward nervously.

"Great! Anthony, Miss Swan is going to do it with your dad. Isn't that great?" Alice asked Anthony.

"Yeah," Jasper elbowed Edward in the ribs, "Isn't that great? You two are gonna do it, right here on the open field."

"What are you, a fifth-grader?" Edward asked as he stepped away from Jasper and went over to Bella to find out what they needed to do.

"I need to warn you, Bella said as she accepted the scarf ties from one of the judges. "I'm pretty competitive."

"Well then it's a good thing we're on the same team…I think," Edward said.

Bella nodded and leaned down to secure her right leg to Edward's left leg.

"Okay, there are a few secrets to winning this thing," she said.

"And you're serious," Edward looked at her in amusement. "I thought you were joking."

"I never joke about games," Bella said, but she smiled to let him know that she could enjoy herself.

"So, what are the rules?" Edward asked.

"Well, the key is not to leave your interior arms free. It'll throw us off balance. So, you have to put your arm around my waist," Bella demonstrated by wrapping her arm around Edward.

_Oh, twist my arm, why don't you!_ Edward wasted no time in resting his arm around Bella's waist. He contemplated slipping a finger in one of her belt loops but in the end decided that would probably be too forward.

"The right leg is the dominant leg, since we're right-handed, so you take the first step and then me. Got it?" Bella asked.

"Got it," Edward said as they hobbled to the start line.

It seemed like such an easy, harmless game.

But Bella's arm was around his waist, and she was in such close proximity to him that every time he looked at her, he could see down the v-neck shirt she was wearing. That wouldn't have been such an issue, except that she was so close to him that her chest pressed up against his side and caused her breast to ride up just enough to show the perfect amount of cleavage. And as if that wasn't enough to cause Edward's heart rate to accelerate, each time they moved, her breasts bounced ever so slightly. It was almost impossible not to look.

When the whistle blew to start the race, Edward did exactly what Bella had suggested, and they took the lead immediately.

But then they got over-confident and stopped focusing so much on winning and started focusing on how ridiculous they looked hobbling down the field.

Suddenly Bella started laughing so hard that Edward couldn't resist joining in. And when he started laughing, she started laughing harder.

They barely made it to the finish line before Edward toppled over and pulled Bella down with him. Because her arm was still wrapped around his waist, it was pinned underneath him. He tried to roll over to free her, but Bella rolled at the same time and ended up on top of him.

The fact that their legs were still tied together made it difficult for her to right herself, and Bella shimmied and rubbed against Edward's body each time she struggled to get up.

That friction had quite an effect on a certain part of Edward's anatomy.

"Shit," Edward muttered as Bella's pelvis rubbed right up against his erection. He shifted quickly, which only resulted in Bella's hand unintentionally sliding across his groin.

"I'm sorry, I can't…I just…I'm trying to…" Bella apologized.

"Oh, I know what you're trying to do," Edward accused.

Bella looked mortified when she looked up at him, but when she saw the grin on his face, she relaxed and started laughing…and then he did…and once again, they were all tangled up.

Finally Edward was able to free Bella's arm and she had the ability to reach down and untie their legs.

"You won! You won!" Alice came running down the field with Anthony.

"I got a trophy!" Anthony said with a big toothy grin.

Bella looked up at Alice humorously. "Shin splints, huh?"

Alice blushed and then winked at Bella.

"You guys smoked everyone else," Jasper said when he'd managed to catch up to them.

"Had to," Edward said. "Bella threatened me at the start line."

"I did not!" Bella picked up a wad of grass and attempted to throw it at him, but it dissipated in the wind in the space between them.

"Yep. And then she violated me," Edward looked over at Bella.

"W-what? I did not! You know that was an-"

"She pinched me, right here to make me go faster," Edward lifted up his shirt slightly to reveal an imaginary injury on his waist.

"So you play dirty, do ya, Bella?" Jasper played along.

Bella shook her head, but couldn't help smiling at the two jokers before her.

"This is the best Halloween ever!" Anthony shouted as he looked at the shiny cup he'd been given when Edward and Bella passed the finish line.

Edward glanced over at Bella as she resituated her shirt and smoothed down her hair. She looked over at him then and when she caught his eye, she smiled.

He smiled back and wondered if she was having the same exact thought as he was at that moment:

_Maybe not the best day…but pretty damn close._


	2. Chapter 2 Conversations with Guys

**A Rough Start Outtake -**

**Conversations with Guys**

Jasper plopped down in his usual seat at the table between Emmett and Edward. Emmett was picking at his usual donut while Edward choked down a stale cup of coffee.

"What's with the shit-eatin' grin, Man?" Emmett nodded in Jasper's direction.

Jasper looked around to make sure no one else was within earshot before he leaned in and whispered, "Man, I woke up to unbelievable head this morning."

"Yeah," Emmett turned toward Jasper in interest. "Alice?"

"What the fuck?" Jasper asked. "Of course it was Alice!"

"Well…I don't know. You don't usually talk about Alice and blowjobs. I thought it was something new," Emmett shrugged. "See, me – I always tell you about Rose giving me head."

"We know," Edward muttered. "And I thank you for not mentioning it this morning."

Emmett shook his head. "We did other stuff this morning. Rose is an animal right before she gets her period."

"What do you, have a little calendar in your purse where you chart her cycle?" Jasper acted as if he were looking for Emmett's handbag.

Emmett rolled his eyes. "No. She tastes different right before she's on the rag. I can always tell."

"What do you mean she tastes different?" Edward frowned.

"Her pussy. It tastes different."

"That's true!" Jasper said as if he were having an epiphany. "It tastes stronger, doesn't it?"

"That's disgusting," Edward grimaced as he pushed his cup of coffee away.

"No it's not. It's just a fact of life," Emmett said. "Tell me you've never noticed a difference."

Edward shook his head. "I don't do that."

"You don't do _what_?" Jasper asked.

"I don't go down on women," Edward stated matter of fact.

"And why the hell not?" Emmett seemed defensive, as if Edward were stating it was a low class thing to do.

"I just don't, that's all." When his friends didn't seem satisfied with his answer, Edward reluctantly added, "I had a bad experience once."

"Well I once had a girl bite my dick while she was giving me head. No lie. That shit hurt like a motherfucker, but you don't see me foregoing blowjobs," Emmett said.

"That's different," Edward muttered.

"How?" Emmett wanted to know.

"I don't know…it just is," Edward justified.

"So you just don't do it and women are cool with that?" Emmett asked.

"I guess. No one's ever said anything. I mean, women have asked and I just say no or tell them I don't like it," Edward answered.

"And they still suck your dick?"

"Yeah."

Emmett eyed Edward with an expression that was a cross between envy and pity. "What was the bad experience?"

"Uh-uh," Edward shook his head.

"You're not gonna tell?" Emmett asked.

"Nope," Edward was unrelenting. "Just thinking about it makes me sick. Quick. Change the subject."

Jasper watched Emmett and Edward volley back and forth with waning interest. "Well, all I know is that I'd have Alice's pussy on a platter every night if she'd let me. I fuckin' love that shit."

"Tell me about it," Emmett agreed. "It's like an open sesame or something. Especially if a chick hasn't been with a guy in a long time and shit is tight. Man, a few minutes of clit-lickin' lubes everything up like butter."

"And I am officially done with this conversation," Edward said as he stood up and kicked his chair in.

Emmett and Jasper watched him leave.

"What do you think his problem is?" Emmett asked regarding Edward's "bad experience".

"I don't know. First I've heard of it," Jasper said, "but I'm willing to bet twenty bucks that the next relationship he's in changes his mind."

"Twenty bucks? You're on," Emmett wagered.

Edward returned to the plant floor, none the wiser about his friends' bet.


	3. Chapter 3 Photograph Haiti Donation

**Haiti Relief Donation Gratitude Contribution**

**A Rough Start from Anthony's Point of View**

**Photograph.**

The raindrops made an angry sound as they pounded relentlessly against the windowpane. Flashes of lightening illuminated the bedroom in bursts of momentary light, and when thunder rocked the small room, Anthony bolted upright, and sat stock still in the middle of his supple mattress. His eyes roved around his bedroom to see that it was more populated than it had been when he'd gone to sleep that night. And though he hadn't seen a lot of the things in a long time, they were all familiar. Even the small, white bedside table that held his airplane lamp and a picture frame with the picture of a man and his motorcycle that had come with the frame.

The light blue sheets clung to Anthony's legs as he listened to the fierce weather outside the walls of his room. Another peal of thunder rocked the sky and Anthony kicked against the hold of his bedding and scrambled from his bed. Thrusting his bedroom door wide open, Anthony ran out into the brightly lit hallway, his bare feet slapping against the bright oak floor.

The hallway seemed much longer than it did during the daytime, and Anthony felt that he had to run forever before he finally reached a pale olive door that was slightly ajar. Slowly he peered inside; the yellow walls made it look like morning instead of the blue-black of the night.

Anthony stood frozen in the doorway as his eyes scanned the room for signs of safety. In one corner of the room there was a small table with a pale blue tablecloth on it. Atop the tablecloth was one of the white spider-web looking circles that his grandmother used to make with her metal hook and magic finger. A short ways away, there was a large gray stuffed mouse that lay on the floor, slouched against a chair that hadn't been there only moments before.

"Moppy!" Anthony called out to the toy he hadn't seen in a long time.

The warbled distortion of his voice shocked him, but he dismissed it quickly and turned his attention back to the room. The last time he'd seen Moppy, he'd been at his old home. The home he'd shared with…

"Grandma?" Anthony asked, now fully focused on the sound his voice made.

But then Grandma appeared, and his voice was forgotten.

"Grandma!" Anthony called as he ran into the room excitedly, his feet pounding as loud as his heart.

Grandma looked up in Anthony's direction and smiled. Anthony returned the smile.

"David, you were right! That fertilizer did the trick. The azaleas are in full bloom!" Grandma called as her eyes focused on a spot just behind Anthony. His breath hitched as his grandmother neared him.

But then she passed right by him as she moved over to a window that he hadn't seen before.

Anthony turned to follow her with his eyes and was startled to see that a large window had replaced the door he'd just entered through.

As he watched his grandmother peer out the window, the sun illuminated her silhouette and he squinted against the brightness.

Behind her, large, full white clouds traveled slowly against the brilliant blue expanse of sky. Anthony wasn't sure how it had already become morning, since it seemed like only minutes had passed since he woke up during a nighttime thunderstorm, but he was pleased to see the light of day. Darkness scared him.

"Grandma, Grandma!" Anthony bounced up and down as he tried to gain her attention.

But she wouldn't acknowledge him.

"They all sprouted?" Grandpa wheeled himself into the room then. His wheelchair seemed bigger than Anthony had remembered. The wheels were large and they sparkled when the sunrays hit them.

"Grandpa! I'm back!" Anthony shouted. He ran over to his grandfather's wheelchair and placed his small hands on the armrest.

But Grandpa only had eyes for Grandma.

"I'll have to be sure not to let Anthony over water them this time. He's always so afraid that they'll be thirsty," Grandma chuckled. "I should probably plant some coco plants and let him have at 'em with the hose."

"Yeah, and tell him that's how chocolate is made. He'll think you're the best grandma in the world, planting him a chocolate tree," Grandpa said.

Grandma looked over at Grandpa and laughed. "Didn't you see the magnet on the 'fridge? He already thinks I'm the best grandma in the world."

"Grandma! Grandpa! I'm right here! Maybe you think it's not me because I got bigged, but it's me! I'm just in kindergarten now!" Anthony's volume grew louder as he spoke, but with the same result. Grandma and Grandpa continued to look everywhere but at him.

"Grandma?" Anthony whimpered as his fingers came into contact with the thin fabric of her cotton dress. He watched as his hand, though able to feel the cloth, made no effect of movement upon it. "Grandma, hear me!" he pleaded.

Suddenly the room turned dark once again, and Grandma was no longer looking out the window. The wall bearing the door had returned and when Anthony turned to look once more, Grandma stood across the room, giving Grandpa his power pills.

Tears threatened to overflow as Anthony pounded his tiny fists against his thighs. _Why couldn't they hear him?_

_"You are my sunshine…my only sunshine…you make me happy when skies are gray…"_

Anthony immediately recognized that voice. And suddenly, the fact that Grandma and Grandpa couldn't hear him didn't seem to be a dilemma he had to figure out on his own.

"Mommy!" Anthony's hands tore at the doorknob. He threw the door open with an overabundant force and raced out of the room and down the hall once again. "Mommy! Mommy!" he called as he searched for the source of the voice.

_"You'll never know dear how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away…"_

There was an endless array of doors as his mother's voice continued to croon the soothing melody.

"Mommy, I'm here! Where are you?" Anthony called as he opened door after never-ending door.

He started to panic when he continued to hear her but wasn't able to find her. To calm his little heart, he kept talking to her, as if that would make her magically appear.

"Mommy, can you hear me? Grandma can't hear me! Grandpa can't either! Mommy! Mommy?"

"Anthony, I'll be right there."

He stopped running immediately and stood cautiously in the hallway. Unintentionally, he'd run all the way back to his room. Through the open door, he could see his bed, disheveled and empty, inviting him back within its confines.

"Mommy? Are you gonna tuck me in?" Anthony called back toward where he'd last heard the voice.

"I'll be right there, Anthony."

"Okay, Mommy," Anthony said happily. He crawled into his bed and sat on top of his blue striped comforter to wait. His eyes roamed around his room as he waited and he visually greeted belongings that he hadn't even realized he'd missed.

And then his eyes, once again, settled on the framed photograph on his bedside table. Mommy had said that every frame came with that picture when you bought one in the store. She said she didn't put a different picture in the frame because she liked the motorcycle in the background.

Anthony liked the jacket the man in the picture wore. It looked like an airplane pilot jacket. And just like his mother, he also liked the motorcycle.

While he waited for his mother to come tuck him in, Anthony reached over and grabbed the picture to get a better look at the motorcycle. Upon closer inspection, he realized that he also recognized the man in the photograph.

"Mommy!" Anthony called, suddenly afraid that she wouldn't be able to find him. After all, he hadn't seen Mommy since he'd met the man in the photograph.

"Mommy!" he called, louder this time. "Mommy, can you hear me? I'm in here!"

Suddenly soft hands were on his face, smoothing back his hair and bracing his jaw. "Ssshh. You're okay, baby."

"Mommy?" Anthony didn't remember closing his eyes, but he opened them to find Miss Swan looking down at him from where she sat next to him on the bed.

"Miss Swan, where's Mommy?" Anthony asked.

"Your Mommy went to a special place, Anthony," Miss Swan answered.

"Can I go with her?" Anthony asked, a sense of dread filling the pit of his belly, as he already knew the answer.

"I'm afraid not, kiddo," Miss Swan answered with sad eyes.

"But is she coming back?" Anthony asked.

Miss Swan softly shook her head. She held her hands out to him, but when Anthony tried to climb into them, he was stuck to the bed.

"Miss Swan! Get Mommy! I'm stuck!" Anthony screamed. Repetitively he screamed for his teacher to go get his mother to help him. But then his throat began to hurt, so he began to call for his mother on his own.

He strained his ears to listen for his mother's approach, but instead, he heard a steady rustling before the entire room began to shake violently.

"Mommy!" Anthony screeched with all that he had left. "Help me!"

"Anthony!"

_Now Mommy's voice was sounding weird, too._

"Grandpa?"

"Anthony. Anthony, wake up."

The shaking continued. Anthony felt himself lifted from the bed minutes before a warming sensation traveled across his legs.

"Aw, shit…"

The voice didn't match his or his mother's and it didn't sound like Grandpa either.

"Anthony! C'mon. Wake up!"

There was the sound of water running and then cold dots pelted his face.

"It's raining again," Anthony murmured.

There was a chuckle and then, "Man, you are a hard one to wake up."

Cold water tickled Anthony's toes. Slowly his eyes pulled open and he struggled to focus on the square-by-square pattern of off-white tile.

"Mommy?" he asked with less assurance.

"Anthony? Are you awake?"

Anthony turned quickly and realized that he was standing in a bathtub, arms of support wrapped around his torso.

"Where's Mommy?" Anthony asked.

The man from the photograph leaned down so that he was eye level with Anthony. "Mommy's in heaven, Anthony. Remember?"

Anthony looked down at the small amount of water that danced around his toes. And then he did remember.

He remembered that he used to live somewhere else. Somewhere where the sun shined a little more. Somewhere where he lived in a sunny yellow house with his grandmother and grandfather and his mother.

Somewhere with a large cookie jar next to the kitchen sink. Somewhere where he and Grandpa snuck extra cookies whenever Grandma and Mommy left them alone to go shopping.

He had three extra cookies that day. The day Mommy said she would be right back.

"I miss my mommy," Anthony whispered.

"I know you do, buddy," Edward said as he pulled Anthony into an encapsulating hug. "I know you miss her. But you have me, okay? I'm here with you and we can remember your mother together anytime you want."

Anthony cried quietly against his father's shoulder until he had no more tears left to shed. Anthony watched as Edward leaned over and turned the bath water back on, filling the tub with warm water despite the fact that Anthony still had his pajama bottoms on – and they were already wet.

"I had a accident," Anthony lamented.

"No big deal," Edward said quickly. "Just step out of your pj's here in the bathtub."

Anthony did as he was told and watched the fabric balloon from the effects of the water. He sat down quickly to let the warm water soothe his skin.

Anthony pulled his knees up and leaned over to rest his cheek comfortably against them. He peered over to find Edward watching him with tired eyes.

"You had a motorcycle," Anthony stated, matter of fact.

"How'd you know that?" Edward inquired; shocked that Anthony would mention something he himself had nearly forgotten after all this time.

"You were in the picture in my old room," Anthony said. "You used to watch me while I sleeped."

"You had a picture of me?" Edward asked, astonishment coloring his face.

"Mommy said all the picture frames from the store have that picture," Anthony said. He searched his father's face for the truth.

Edward laughed and shook his head, but he didn't validate Anthony's question either way.

They sat in silence for a long while until Edward asked Anthony if he would be okay on his own for a few minutes.

"Yeah," Anthony said as he waved hands to create currents underneath the water.

Once he was alone, Anthony pulled down the plastic boat that sat on the edge of the tub and floated it in the soapy water.

"_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away_," Anthony sang quietly to himself. Over and over, he sang that lyric until Edward came to retrieve him from the tub.

Edward handed Anthony a fresh pair of underwear and a t-shirt before asking, "Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?"

Relief was immediate as Anthony realized he didn't have to go back to that room where the storm had started.

"Okay," Anthony readily agreed as he followed Edward to his bedroom. He clambered up onto the mattress and pulled at the sheet until his father came over and helped him settle into the bed.

"Lights on or off?" Edward asked.

"On," Anthony said quickly.

"Okay, then," Edward said as he moved Anthony's hair off his forehead before making a show of placing a picture frame atop two boxes he'd stacked next to Anthony's side of the bed as a makeshift bedside table.

Anthony stared at the picture for as long as his tired eyes would allow. But finally his lids grew heavy and his eyes closed.

"Goodnight, Mommy," he murmured just as one hand nested under his pillow and the other found purchase around the rim of Edward's shirt.

Anthony slept soundly for the rest of the night, peacefully and securely between his two parents.


	4. Chapter 4 Conversations with Guys, Pt 2

**A Rough Start Outtakes**

**Conversations with Guys, Part 2**

Emmett was the last one to the lunch table, where Jasper sat next to a stoic Edward, whose hair was still damp from a shower he'd taken in the onsite facilities.

Emmett pointed to Edward and eyed Jasper for an explanation. _What was wrong with their friend? Were he and Bella not getting along? Did Anthony get sick? Did he lose the lease on his townhouse?_

Jasper simply shrugged in response, though he'd noticed that Edward looked tired. He wondered if maybe Edward had used the shower to try and wake himself up. Maybe the twelve-hour shifts were starting to take their toll.

Edward didn't bother to greet his friends as they joined him. Instead, he simply sat looking at the wall across the room, occasionally resituating the sandwich and brownie on the napkin in front of him.

"What's up, man?" Jasper frowned as he nudged Edward.

Edward looked over at him as if he'd just then realized he wasn't alone. "Uh…nothin'." He ran his hand over his nose before inhaling sharply and sitting back in his chair.

"You sick or something?" Emmett asked.

"No, why?" Edward returned.

"Because you're not eating." Emmett eyed the brownie that sat before his friend.

Edward looked down at the brownie that was lacking a corner from where he'd taken a bite. He tore off the piece that harbored his teeth marks and held it out to Emmett, who readily accepted it.

There were a few more beats of silence while Jasper tried to think of something neutral to talk about and Emmett savored the taste of the rich, moist brownie against his tongue.

"Bella made this shit, didn't she?" Emmett asked through a full mouth. "Mmmm."

Jasper's eyes slid over to Edward, wondering if Bella was a taboo topic of discussion or if it was all right to compliment her culinary skills.

When Edward winced at the sound of Bella's name, Jasper leaned over and treaded lightly on the subject.

"Hey…everything okay? You and Bella…things going all right?" he asked.

Edward leaned forward, his eyes never leaving the table. "That depends on what you mean by all right," he finally said.

"Uh-oh," Emmett concluded.

Edward shook his head at the inference. "It's not like that. She…we…She came over last night for a little while because her schedule and my schedule…we've just been so busy. Anyway, she planned to come over for a couple hours after I put Anthony to bed-"

"Booty-call," Emmett grinned.

"But Anthony kept waking up," Edward said, ignoring Emmett. "First his stomach hurt, then his head hurt, then his toes hurt."

"Is he okay?" Jasper asked with concern.

"He's fine," Edward's tone was laced with annoyance. "He'd just heard Bella's voice and he was going to do anything to get downstairs to see her."

Emmett laughed. "That's kinda cool, I guess. I mean, at least he doesn't hate her. Think of what it would be like if he screamed and cried every time he saw her. That's what it would have been like if my dad was hooking up with one of my teachers."

Edward paused for a moment, wondering if there would be one single, useful syllable that would escape Emmett's mouth during their conversation.

Probably not.

"Anyway, we started watching this movie while we were waiting for Anthony to fall asleep," Edward fidgeted in his chair and adjusted himself inconspicuously. "And then Bella laid her head in my lap…"

Emmett placed the remaining bits of the brownie he was eating on the table and sat back with interest.

"…at first it wasn't any big deal. We were just watching this movie and it was pretty good, too," Edward continued. "But then…well…she was _right there_ and everything…so…I started rubbing her back and stuff…by the time I went up her shirt, she finally got the hint."

"She give good head?" Emmett asked, with all the gracefulness of a duck at a ballet recital.

"Oh yeah," Edward grinned, finally venturing to answer one of Emmett's questions. Edward swiveled his body and addressed Jasper directly. "Has Alice ever…done this thing where she licks underneath your balls…"

"Yeah, yeah!" Jasper interjected excitedly as he tapped his hands in succession on the table. "That shit is amazing man."

Emmett wistfully commented on his experience as well. "You have to be with someone who knows what they're doing, though. I once hooked up with this girl that latched on like a Hoover vacuum. That shit wasn't cool." Emmett's face contorted into an expression mixed with sadness and defeat. "Rose was so good at that…she'd do this thing where she …uh…nevermind."

Edward and Jasper sat silently, like they were trying to figure out if they needed to remain silent while Emmett came to terms with the now defunct relationship he'd had with Rosalie Hale; and if so, what that appropriate length of silence was.

"Man, I don't know how you get away with only being on the receiving end of that shit all the time," Jasper finally spoke up.

"Well…" Edward hemmed for a moment. "It's not like that with Bella. I…reciprocate."

"So that's the problem?" Emmett asked, starting to wonder where all of this was going.

Again, Edward shook his head. "No, that was all great and everything." Edward's brow creased in contemplation. He straightened up suddenly and drummed his fingers anxiously on the Formica. "I think something's wrong with me," he suddenly announced.

"What do you mean 'wrong with you'?" Jasper wondered. After all, as the representative for human resources, he needed to know if some aspect of Edward's job was causing him physical ailment.

"You said you weren't sick," Emmett reminded as he eyed the remaining brownie that he'd basically _shared_ with Edward.

"Not sick," Edward glanced around the room and lowered his voice to make sure no one could hear. "I'm…I can't…I can't _calm down_," Edward whispered the last two words.

"What to you mean you can't calm down?" Emmett bellowed.

"Did something happen afterwards? Did you and Bella get into a fight or sumpthin'?" Jasper wanted to know.

"No, no," Edward seemed exasperated as he leaned in closer to his friends and averted his eyes for the sake of comfort. "I can't calm down…_physically,_" he hinted.

When neither Emmett nor Jasper looked any wiser, Edward sighed and spoke as bluntly as he could in the employee break room. "Ever since last night…well things haven't gone back to normal yet…if you know what I mean."

Jasper looked down as if he could see through the table, straight to Edward's groin. "All night?" he asked.

Edward looked mournful as he nodded.

"And you guys…you know…" Jasper didn't want to be the one who uttered the word 'fucked' in the staff break room.

Emmett, however, had no problem.

"What the fuck are you takin' Viagra for? You're too young to need that shit," Emmett complained. "And I think you're supposed to go to the emergency room if it's been hard for like, four hours."

Edward looked at Emmett with disdain. "A little louder. I don't think those people in the corner heard you."

"You took Viagra?" Jasper questioned.

"No, I didn't take fuckin' Viagra," Edward hissed. "And we didn't have sex. We were just…messin' around and-"

"Well that's your problem," Emmett said. "I mean, I know it's been awhile and all, Edward, but surely you remember that the object of the game is to actually nut."

"Would you shut the fuck up for a minute?" Edward's discomfort fueled his temper. "And for your information, I did…and it didn't make a difference."

"She swallow?" Emmett wanted to know.

Edward ignored the question and tuned in to Jasper, as if Emmett wasn't seated at the table with them.

"Just try thinking about something else, like…school or…your parents or, even better," Jasper snapped his fingers at his genius. "Think about your parents having sex at a school. If that doesn't scream limp dick, I don't know what does."

Edward grimaced, but not for the obvious reason. For him, thinking about his parents having sex wasn't as egregious as thinking about his parents – period.

"I've tried thinking about other stuff, but it doesn't work," Edward admitted. "And it's not just that I'm thinking about her. It's like I can still smell her on my fingers and taste her, even." Edward pulled his hands through his hair. "Fuck, this isn't helping."

Emmett's upper lip crinkled in disgust as he looked from Edward down to the few remaining crumbs of the brownie he'd just eaten. "Dude!"

"Maybe you should…I don't know…go for a walk or something," Jasper suggested. He was speaking in "man code" and he hoped his friend understood what he was saying without him having to explicitly state it.

Edward looked as if he were considering it for a moment. "No time," he finally stated. "My break is just about up."

Edward left the table and headed back to his station to finish out his shift. Jasper chuckled as he watched Edward round the corner and disappear.

"Hey…" Emmett looked over at Jasper, the expression on his face an uneasy one. "You think that brownie I just ate had Bella's vagina juice on it?"

"Don't be stupid," Jasper admonished. "And don't try to act like you don't know that you owe me twenty bucks. Edward totally ate the pussy. I win, you lose. Pay up."


	5. Chapter 5 FGB Outtake Friends & Lovers

**Friends & Lovers**

**An A Rough Start Outtake**

**APOV.**

The tall elm tree blew in the thundering rain, causing the leafless branches to slap against the window pane insistently. Anthony sat up in bed immediately and opened his eyes to the harsh light of his overhead lamp.

The wind howled again and Anthony quickly scampered down the hall to his father's bedroom. The door was closed so Anthony wasted no time in reaching for the knob.

But no matter how hard he tried, it wouldn't turn.

"Uuuhh."

Anthony distinctly heard his father's moan from on the other side of the door and he wondered if his daddy had a tummy ache.

"Oh…damn, baby…yeah…mmmm…that feels good…uummmfff…shit…UUHHH…"

_What was wrong? What was happening?_ Anthony was about to bang on the door, but his father spoke again.

"Oh no you don't! Get your sexy ass over here."

A female voice giggled and squealed.

_Miss Bella?_

And then there was quiet. Maybe Miss Swan was borrowing one of his father's shirts, like she was the first time he'd seen her coming out of his father's room late at night.

Anthony slid down the wall into a seated position on the floor. He figured Miss Swan would be opening the door any minute, and as soon as she did so, he was going to crawl into his father's bed where it was safe and quiet.

Anthony liked his car bed, but he loved sleeping in his dad's bed even more. It was big and warm and sometimes in the middle of the night, his dad would reach out and put his hand on Anthony's back. Anthony loved the feeling of his father's hand heavy on his skin.

He was never afraid when his dad was nearby.

Anthony's eyelids began to droop as he sat waiting for his father and Bella to emerge. He was barely on the verge of consciousness when he heard a squeal of delight in the background right before his eyes fluttered shut.

"Oooh…aahh…uummmfff…"

Anthony stirred in his sleep against the background mutterings. Suddenly, he was surrounded by a lush green forest and there was a large castle right in the middle of a line of trees. Princess Bella was standing on a high up balcony, and she had no way to get down. And she needed to get down really quickly, because she had a bad tummy ache and she needed to go see a doctor…

"Oh, oh, oh…_Edward_…mmm…"

Prince Edward stood on the ground looking up at Princess Bella. She told him that she had a tummy ache and then she moaned his name over and over and over. Prince Edward ran inside the castle to find his way to Princess Bella. But there were lots and lots of doors and he didn't know which one was hers. So he tried them all. He'd open a door, and when he didn't find her inside, he'd slam the door and go to the next one…

_Bam…Bam…Bam…Bam…Bam…Bam…Bam…Bam…Bam…Bam…Bam…Bam…Bam…_

The doors were old and they squeaked a bit as Prince Edward opened and slammed them shut. Princess Bella was anxious for Prince Edward to find her and she started moaning his name louder and faster. When he heard her cries, he responded. Even though he sounded quite tired, he reassured her:

"I'm close…I'm…uuhhgh…almost there…"

Really soon after he made that promise, he opened the right door and Princess Bella was so happy to see the prince that she screamed out his name.

"Edward!"

Then she ran across the room and jumped into his arms, but she was kind of heavy, and the prince grunted a little bit. But he still carried her anyway, all the way down the stairs and out of the castle to her white truck.

Prince Edward and Princess Bella disappeared once they entered the truck and Anthony would have gone looking for them, except that a large, friendly dragon flew by at that moment, swooped Anthony up and flew through the clouds, carrying Anthony on his back. As soon as they reached the highest cloud, the dragon settled Anthony down on a plump, cushiony fluff of cottony white and flew home to his dragon family for dinner.

Anthony was still wondering how he would get down off the cloud when he woke up later that morning.

In his own bed.

Anthony rubbed his eyes and stretched until his bare toes grazed the carpet on his bedroom floor. After a brief visit to the bathroom, Anthony checked his father's bedroom, and when he found the door wide open, revealing the room's emptiness, he rushed downstairs toward the kitchen. However, voices in the living room distracted him, and he navigated that way.

"Princess Bella," he grinned when he saw Bella sitting on the couch next to his father.

"What?" Bella asked through a giggle.

"Um, Bella," Anthony corrected himself. "Are you going to take me to school?"

"Not today, sweetie. It's Saturday," Bella smiled.

"Oh," Anthony puffed his cheeks with air and made a face like a monkey before he exhaled loudly. "Why come you're here, then?"

"She came by to make us breakfast," Edward answered.

"Oh," Anthony said again. He looked between the two adults, like he was the odd person out on an inside joke. But then he smiled. "I'm hungry," he added for good measure.

Bella led him to the kitchen and Anthony pulled out his usual chair at the wobbly kitchen table and sat down to watch as Bella made him scrambled eggs, toast and two pieces of microwaved bacon. Edward arrived at the table just as the food was finished, and sat down to eat while Bella disappeared upstairs.

"Can we play soccer today?" Anthony asked his father.

"It's raining, champ," Edward answered.

"It's _always_ raining," Anthony sighed. He placed his elbow on the table and rested his head against his palm as he stirred his eggs around, waiting for them to cool.

"Maybe I'll clear some space in the garage and teach you how to play broom ball," Edward offered.

Anthony perked up immediately. "Broomball? What's that?"

"It's a game I used to play when I was a kid, without the ice, of course."

"Ice?"

"We don't need it," Edward insisted. "And once you get good enough, I'll teach you how to do it on roller skates."

"I don't know how to skate," Anthony looked sad for a moment. "I went to a roller skate party at my old house and I fell down a lot." Anthony looked over to find his father staring at him oddly. "What?"

"Nothing," Edward responded quickly. "You just…you never tell me much about what you did at your old house."

"Oh."

"No, it's good. I want to hear about it."

"You do?"

"Yeah? I like hearing about you and the stuff you did before we…before you came to live here."

Instead of offer a further glimpse into his earlier life, Anthony inquired of Edward. "How come you live here instead of by my old house?"

"This is where I'm from. I moved away for awhile…met your mom…but then I moved back," Edward treaded lightly.

"My mom lived here?" Anthony asked with peaked interest.

"Well not here. Further up north. We went to high school together. She was my…uh…a good friend of mine."

"Like a kissing friend?" Anthony asked.

"A kissing friend?" Edward nearly choked on his breakfast. "What's that?"

"A kissing friend," Anthony answered in his most grown up voice, "is when a boy and a girl see each other every day and they laugh together and kiss and stuff. They get married and then, the boy whispers for the girl to put a baby in her tummy and she does and then they have a baby."

"What the hell?" Edward spat out. "Who told you that?"

"Mommy," Anthony stated.

Edward leaned back in his chair, his face lit up with revelation. "Did your mom have a kissing friend?"

Anthony nodded. "Marty." Then his expression soured. "He knocked my ice cream cone on the ground at the fair."

"Hmpf," Edward grumbled. "This Marty sounds like a real winner."

Anthony shrugged. "Grandpa said Mom could pick him."

Edward laughed. "I think what he said was that your mom sure could pick 'em. At least that's what he always used to mutter when he saw me."

"You knew Grandpa?"

"Yep."

"Did he let you push him in his wheelchair?"

"Uh…he wasn't in a wheelchair when I knew him."

The conversation was momentarily sidelined when Bella returned to the kitchen with a different shirt and jeans on, and her hair neatly pulled back in a ponytail. Anthony noticed that she smelled like soap and toothpaste, sort of like how his dad smelled after he took a shower in the morning.

"How come you changed clothes?" Anthony asked.

"I just changed my shirt," Bella answered before moving on. "Anyway, are you finished with your breakfast yet? Your dad and I wanted to know what you thought of something."

"Thought of what?" Anthony beamed. It was almost Christmas and Anthony wondered if Bella was going to give him the toy catalog and ask him to circle all the things he wanted Santa to bring him. That's what his grandmother used to do.

"Yeah, thought of what?" Edward echoed.

"You know," Bella indicated toward Anthony with a nod of her head, her eyes still on Edward. "The thing we talked about last night…the _discussion_ about…you know…kinda why I'm here this morning."

"Oh. Right," Edward nodded. "Let's go in the living room."

"Okay," Anthony bounded across the house in front of them. He plopped down on the couch and waited for someone to hand over the Christmas catalog.

Bella took a seat next to Anthony and much to Anthony's disappointment, she didn't give him the Christmas catalog. Instead, she stared up at his father in anticipation, in much the same way he was staring at her.

"Yeah, so, Anthony…" Edward began.

"Yeah?" Anthony interjected.

Edward sighed and then wiped his hands on his jeans. He took a seat in the chair near the sofa momentarily before standing up in front of where Anthony and Bella were seated.

"So…Miss Swan…I mean Bella…we call her Bella when you're not in the classroom, right?" Edward asked, stalling for time.

Anthony nodded. He thought his dad was acting weird.

"Okay, so Bella is your teacher…that's her job. Just like I go to work every day to my job, being your teacher is Bella's job. And when she's not your teacher, Miss Swan, she's just Bella…my friend. Do you understand what that means?" Edward asked.

Anthony nodded but Bella shook her head.

"I don't understand what that means," she said.

"Shut it," Edward said. Anthony could tell that his dad wasn't really mad because he was kind of smiling and Miss Bella laughed.

"So is it okay with you that I visit your dad sometimes?" Bella asked.

Anthony nodded quickly. "I used to visit Taylor's house. We played at recess at school and then, when I went over to his house, we played in his room. And one time, I almost spent the night. But then my dad came and I got to leave because…"

"Yeah, Anthony," Edward interrupted, "See, the thing is…" he paused to look at Bella and then he smirked and rolled his eyes. "Bella is my special friend. It's not like you and Taylor. It's a little more…complicated than that."

"She's your kissing friend?" Anthony grinned.

Bella got flustered at that question and she sputtered a little bit as she looked to Edward for an explanation.

"Uh…sort of," Edward began.

But Anthony continued. "Does that mean you're going to get married or something?"

"Un, no. No, that's not what that means," Edward quickly answered. "And there won't be any whispering either."

"Whispering?" Bella looked confused.

Edward shook his head at her. "Nothing. It's nothing."

Apparently Bella thought the term kissing friends applied to kindergarteners as well, so she quickly began an impromptu lecture.

"Anthony, what your dad and I do together…our special friendship…it's not about kissing…well it's not _just_ about kissing…" she paused to look at Edward. "It's different from the friendships that you have with your classmates. Special friends are something that older people…adults have. Okay? We do not have special friends in kindergarten."

Anthony merely shrugged again and nodded. His dad and Bella were acting like what they were saying was really important, but really, he thought the Christmas catalog was much more important – and he didn't hesitate to remind his father the importance of said catalog later that night when he was being tucked in to bed.

"How will you know if you can put together what Santa brings me for Christmas?" Anthony hinted. "What if he brings me a bicycle and you don't know how it goes together?"

"I'm pretty sure I can handle putting a bike together," Edward said. "Why? Is that what you're going to ask Santa for?"

Anthony nodded excitedly. "I just need to see the Christmas catalog for a picture, because Jimmy in first grade got a green bicycle for his birthday, and I don't want one like that. I have to make sure Santa knows I want a red or blue one."

Edward just stared at Anthony for a few beats. "Do you even know how to ride a bicycle?"

"You didn't teached me yet," Anthony shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.

"I didn't teached you yet?" Edward mimicked him with a smile.

Anthony reiterated his statement with the shake of his head.

"Well, I'll teach you soon…but you have to get a bicycle first…" Edward sighed as if it was possibly not going to happen.

Anthony's eyes grew wide with concern. "Santa's not gonna bring me a bike? Why?" His eyes watered. "I was good."

Anthony was quickly comforted as Edward moved swiftly to his side and sat down next to him. "Hey, no need to get upset. I just meant that Christmas has to come before I can teach you. You can't learn to ride a bicycle without a bike, can you?"

Anthony swatted at his tears. "No." He watched as his father continued to peer down at him. And then he asked: "Does Christmas make you sad, Anthony?"

Anthony wondered why everyone asked him that question. Mrs. Walden, the art teacher, had asked him. The principal had asked him. Miss Bella had asked him. Was Christmas supposed to make him sad?

Two days later when Leisel asked him the same question, Anthony asked her exactly that.

"No, of course Christmas isn't supposed to make you sad," Leisel said as she lined up the Spongebob dominos that were on the table between her and Anthony. "But sometimes Christmas reminds us of things that make us sad. Do you think this Christmas will remind you of anything that will make you feel sad?"

Anthony shrugged. "I like Christmas. Santa brings me lots of presents."

"Yes. And this year you'll be celebrating your very first Christmas with your dad. That's different from last Christmas, isn't it?"

"Yeah, and I get to put lots of frosting and sprinkles on my Christmas cookies."

"Where do you get Christmas cookies, Anthony?"

"I make 'em. With Grandma."

"But Grandma isn't here with you, right?"

"Oh, yeah," Anthony looked down as he turned a domino over and over in his hand. Then he looked up suddenly at Leisel, his face horror-stricken. "What if Santa can't find my new house?"

"Santa knows where you live, Sweetie. You don't have to worry about that. Remember the song? He sees you when you're sleeping; he knows when you're awake; he knows when you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake," Leisel sang.

"I listen to that song in my class."

Anthony's eyes watched as Leisel slid a Patrick-themed domino across the table. "What do you think you'll do this Christmas instead of make cookies with your Grandma?"

"Um…I think Bella will give me cookies. She lets me cook at her house."

"That's great, Anthony. You seem to do a lot of special things with Bella."

"That's because she's my dad's special friend."

"Special friend? What's that?" Leisel asked.

"It's like a kissing friend. But I think it means they make memories together."

"Make memories? I don't think I understand what that means. Can you explain it to me?"

"Bella said we make memories with people we love so we can remember them. I think she makes memories with my dad. That's why she's a special friend."

"Hmm," Leisel straightened up and leaned against the back of her chair. "I think Bella is a very smart person."

"Oh yeah," Anthony said without missing a beat. "She's the smartest in the whole world."

There was no talking for a moment as Leisel waited for Anthony to make his last play with his domino. Then, as she put the game way, she checked her watch and said, "Anthony, we have just enough time for you to draw me a picture. Would you like to do that?"

"Sure," Anthony answered. He never minded drawing. Leisel had the same big crayons that he used in his classroom and he didn't have to share with his neighbor in her office.

"Just like last time, I'm going to say a word, and I want you to draw me a picture of something that makes you think of that word. Okay?" When Anthony consented, Leisel continued. "The word is 'gone'. Draw me a picture of something that reminds you of the word 'gone'."

Anthony set to work immediately, as if he were racing against time. He quickly grabbed a purple crayon, an orange one and then a brown. Mere seconds passed before he reached for a yellow, and because Leisel had an exquisite selection, he also chose peach.

In less than ten minutes, he was handing over his picture.

Leisel stared down at the picture. She frowned as she turned it upside down and then right-side up again.

"Would you like to tell me a little bit about what you've drawn, Anthony?" she asked.

"This is the scary mean lady's house," Anthony pointed. "And this is the yucky s'ghetti and the purple bed. And that's chocolate cake."

"Very nice, Anthony," Leisel complimented him. "So when I say the word gone, it makes you think of this house?"

Anthony nodded freely. "She babysitted me when my dad was gone."

"Oooh," Leisel said, recognition dawning. "And you thought she was scary and mean?"

"She spanked me," Anthony said as if that was the only explanation necessary.

"Have you ever been spanked before?" Leisel asked.

Anthony nodded. "At the green house."

"Who spanked you at the green house?"

"Miss Dotty," Anthony answered of the woman whom he lived with right before his father came to pick him up.

"How did that make you feel, when Miss Dotty spanked you?"

"It hurt."

"Did it hurt your feelings, too?"

"Can I draw a picture of Gus?" Anthony was tired of talking.

"Sure you can draw a picture of Gus, and remember what we talked about last time? When you mention Gus, I get to write whatever we were talking about on our conversation chart. See?" Leisel pulled out a colorful chart and wrote Miss Dotty in small black letters. "Did I get that right? Or was talking about the spanking what made you uncomfortable?"

"I want my daddy," Anthony began to whine.

Leisel stood up immediately and extended her hand to Anthony. "Come on. Let's go get him. He's right outside."

And just like she'd promised, Anthony spotted his father sitting in one of the hard, navy blue chairs that lined the wall. His father stood up when he saw Anthony, and Anthony took off running toward him and leapt into his arms.

**EPOV.**

"Hey, bud, what's wrong?" Edward asked as he hoisted Anthony up and cradled him to his chest.

Anthony burrowed against his father and hid his face in Edward's neck.

"What's going on? What's wrong? What happened?" Edward frantically asked. _He knew this therapy shit was a bad idea. He knew it! _

"Nothing; everything's fine," Leisel said with assurance. "If you'd like to follow me back to my office, we can talk a little bit. Anthony just really wanted to see you, and I didn't want to make him wait."

Edward looked around and noticed that other people in the lobby were staring, so he quietly followed Leisel back to her office. However, as soon as the door was shut, he didn't bother holding back.

"What did you do to him? What did you say to him, huh? Why is he like this?"

"Mr. Cullen, please calm down."

The unnerved way in which Leisel spoke, like she was trying to hypnotize him with her words, made Edward that much more enraged.

"I'll calm down after you tell me what the hell went on in here!" Edward told her. "He was fine when I brought him in."

"Edward," Leisel used his first name. "Please. If you're upset, Anthony will get upset. Please let me explain."

Edward indicated with a raised eyebrow and a tilt of his head that he was waiting for her to continue.

"Anthony, would you like to go play with the building blocks while I talk to your dad?" Leisel asked first.

Anthony shook his head and tightened his grip on Edward. Leisel, however, didn't look dissuaded by his refusal as she turned her attention back to Edward.

"In cases of traumatic events, where the subject's reaction hasn't been repressed for long periods of time, the emotions are often laying just under the surface – triggered by common occurrences or similar events. In Anthony's case, a babysitting incident when you went out of town correlates to another experience in which he was corporally punished.

"Now…" Leisel looked down at Anthony's file, "the name he used tells me that this experience predates you – it was during the time when you were unable to be located-"

Edward stood up abruptly, jostling Anthony in the process. "If you think I'm just gonna sit here and listen to this, you've got another thing coming."

"I don't know what you're so upset about," Leisel implored, her perfectly calm demeanor still intact.

"The problem with you people, is that you can't do your job unless you're pointing the blame at someone else. But while you're sitting behind your fancy desk making god only knows how much per minute, the rest of us have to do what we have to do to get by. So don't sit there with your hoity-toity bullshit telling me how much I messed up my kid because I had a job to do. And if you don't know why I'd be upset about that, then those," he pointed at the conferred degrees that were framed and hanging on the wall, "aren't worth the paper they're printed on."

"Mr. Cullen," Leisel rose as a mechanism of elevating her voice. "If I have in any way led you to believe that I find you at fault for any of this, I sincerely apologize. That isn't the case at all. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I think Anthony is doing as well as he is because you've provided him with a safe, stable, loving environment."

Edward looked at Leisel skeptically as he regarded he words.

"Please. Have a seat. I want to show you something." Leisel took her seat as well and pulled a rubber band from her desk.

Slowly, Edward sunk back down into the chair. He gently resituated Anthony, who was now interested and looking to see what Leisel had to show his father.

Leisel took the rubber band between her thumb and forefinger and held it up so that Edward could clearly see it. She then used the index finger on her opposite hand to stretch the rubber band as far back as it could go. She demonstrated the resistance by giving it a few short tugs.

"What Anthony has experienced is so overwhelming that it would easily stretch his emotional well-being to its breaking point. However, without the proper tools in place to deal with those emotions, Anthony implemented his own coping mechanisms that brought his emotional well being to about…here." Leisel allowed a small amount of slack in the rubber band. "My job is to bring him back here," she stretched the band to the brink once again, "to face and understand what happened to him and then teach him to navigate through it, little by little, in a way that will prevent this." She let go of the band and it shot across the room.

Edward's eyes followed the rubber band as it hit the wall and landed on the floor. He said nothing.

"But just like the rubber band, Edward, as I bring Anthony back to the hurt and pain and help him face it so he can move forward, we're all going to feel that resistance, that tension; and that's what you saw today. It gets a little difficult before it gets easier. But I promise you, you just keep doing what you're doing and it will get easier."

Edward just nodded and looked down at the desk. He'd jumped to conclusions and now a simply apology was not only insufficient, but it was downright embarrassing.

As if she could read his mind, Leisel added, "I understand that this isn't easy to watch. Trust me, if I were in your shoes right now, I probably would have reacted the same way. Here's your sweet, little boy, coming out looking terrified and lost. That's why I brought him right out to you. I want him, both of you, to understand, that we're on the same team.

"And if you ever feel that something is off or wrong, please don't hesitate to ask me about it, and we can discuss it in a calm, rational fashion, okay?"

"Yeah," Edward said, his voice gruff from the amount of time he's spent silent.

Although Leisel didn't show it, Edward was sure she was more than happy when he and Anthony left her office that afternoon.

After a trip to the bank, the grocery store and a fast food drive-thru, Anthony seemed to snap out of his earlier funk, and he began singing Jingle Bells at the top of his lungs from the back seat.

"Inside voice, Anthony." Edward had heard Bella use that term with her class once or twice, and just as it had then, it worked like a charm. Anthony lowered his voice a few decibels and Edward was able to focus on driving.

"Santa sees me, right?" Anthony asked suddenly.

"What?" Edward looked at his son through the rearview mirror as if he actually had to see his mouth moving to understand the words.

"Santa can see me right?"

"Uh…I don't know, Anthony," Edward shrugged. "That's kind of a creepy thought, isn't it? Some old, fat guy…" But Edward didn't get to finish his words before Anthony burst into tears.

"He's not gonna find me! I need to go to my old house! I need to see Santa there!" Anthony wailed. "I need to see the Center Santa!"

Edward was just about to tell Anthony not to be silly, when he had a vague recognition of what it had been like to be five years old at Christmas time. How the holiday had seeped into every fiber of his existence and announced itself constantly. And for the entire time he'd believed in Santa Clause, all eight and a half years, Edward had lived in the same house. He'd never had to worry about the various issues associated with relocation – though if he had, at five years old, Santa's ability to find him would have been a very pressing concern.

And that gave him an idea. Yet, after what he'd witnessed of Anthony that afternoon in Leisel's office, Edward thought better of acting on his idea without first running it by Leisel. Therefore, he planned to contact her at the beginning of the next week to run his plan by her.

However, she contacted him the very next day before he'd even had a chance to solidify his plan.

"I was hoping you and I might set up a time for a discussion without Anthony being present," she said after the usual greetings were made.

Her request caught Edward off guard and he stalled as he tried to imagine why she would ask for such a meeting. Was it possible that she'd changed her mind and she thought he was a bad parent after all? Perhaps if she knew what he was planning, she wouldn't think that way at all.

"I was actually going to call you," Edward said, neglecting to say when.

"Oh really? Everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. Everything's cool. I just…well Anthony said something that got me to thinking about taking him back to Oregon…you know…where he's from."

"Uh huh," Leisel prompted.

"He's used to going to a certain mall to see Santa every Christmas, but I didn't know if it was such a good idea to take him back there…Oregon _is _where all the bad stuff happened."

"Yes, but Anthony associates Oregon with a lot of positive experiences as well. I think it would be healthy for him to experience some of those positives with you. It'll be a way of bridging his past with his present." Leisel hesitated for a moment. "That's not to say that it will be easy for Anthony, but I do think it will help him progress, and that's what we want for him. I think it's a great idea, Edward. I'm glad you thought of it."

Edward couldn't help feeling a little proud at Leisel's compliment and he couldn't help wondering if Bella would have the same reaction. He hoped so, because he had every intention of asking her to accompany him to Oregon for the holidays.

Nevertheless, when Bella came by later that evening for a visit, panic seized him, and he couldn't bring himself to broach the topic.

"I called you earlier to see if you and Anthony wanted to come by for dinner. Where were you?" Bella asked as she snuggled up to Edward on the couch. Anthony had already completed his cycle of needing a book, a drink, and a last trip to the bathroom; he was sleeping soundly in his bed.

"Oh, I didn't even hear my phone ring. What was for dinner? What'd I miss?" Edward asked, craftily avoiding the question.

"Roasted chicken," Bella responded. She tucked the skirt she was wearing against her thigh as she folded her legs beside her on the couch.

"Darn. Sorry I missed that. It would have been better than the gross take-out we had." Edward shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like the way Bella was watching him, as if she hadn't missed the fact that he'd avoided her question.

The last thing he wanted was for Bella to be upset with him, and definitely not when he wanted her to make the long trek to Oregon with him. He was going to need all the brownie points he could accumulate if he was going to have any hope of getting her to forego traveling to Arizona to see her parents to come with him instead.

"Can you come upstairs for a minute? I have something to give you." Edward stood up and held his hands out to help Bella do the same.

Bella's eyes sparkled at the notion of a surprise. "What is it?" she asked, even though both she and Edward knew that he had no intention of letting her know anything until she followed him to wherever it was he was taking her.

Where he was taking her was, of course, his bedroom. And once he had her inside, he made a flourish of locking the door and turning to face her.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Edward, if you wanted to get me up here-"

Edward kissed her silent and walked her backwards toward the bed. His hands stroked the silky skin of her thighs as he pushed her skirt up around her waist. She grinned at how urgent and insistent he was being when he pulled at her underwear and tossed them over his shoulder onto the floor. However, when she tried to return the favor, and reached for the button on his jeans, he swatted her hands away.

"What are you doing?" she giggled as she laid on the bed, propped up on her elbows watching Edward stealthily crawl up her body.

"Sssh," he told her. "I already missed out on one meal. Let's not make it two."

Edward didn't bother for the enlightenment to show in Bella's eyes before he parted her legs and kissed his way down to her naked center.

Encouraged by Bella's moans and whimpers of delight, Edward lavished her with long, languid licks to her torrid flesh. And when she seemed to settle into his rhythm, he took her clit between his lips and sucked until she cried out his name.

"I want you," she panted as she clutched for his shoulders to pull him on top of her.

Edward unbuttoned his jeans to reveal that he wasn't wearing underwear underneath. He positioned himself to enter her and then leaned over to take her bottom lip between his.

"You want me?" he asked in a throaty whisper as he teased her entrance with the tip of his cock.

"Mmm…yes," her words dripping with desire.

Edward could see that she was on the brink of begging as he sank down into her, with just enough friction to drive him wild.

Bella began to constrict around him nearly on entry, which was a good thing, since there was no way he could last another minute.

"You read my mind," Bella sighed, euphoric from her climax. "I've been craving you all day."

Edward smiled as he turned to lie on his back, one arm holding Bella to his side.

Mind reading. If only it was that easy. All they'd have to do was be in close proximity and Bella would know the words he so badly wanted to share. Not only would she know how much he wanted her to spend Christmas with him and Anthony, but she'd also know the truth that he'd only just recently accepted himself.

* * *

**_Thank you to everyone who voted/participated in the FGB cause. And thank you for allowing me to contribute in this way. The winning team for ItzMegan73 voted for a few things, so I tried to get them all in this outtake. I hope I did you justice. Also, for the small majority that wanted The Tutor, I hear ya and I shall make that happen as well. Have a good day!_**


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